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Intentionally Bare Blog

Motivational Monday: You can’t please everyone (and why we shouldn’t even try)

You start keto and are so excited you tell everyone about it… you feel judged and hear “I’m just concerned for your health” comments.

Then you veer off your ideal keto plan and hear “told you you’d never stick to it.”

Or the worst one… the words we tell ourselves in our heads ♥️

Whether we’re talking about keto or anything else... let’s talk about why it’s so important for us to shut those noises out and how to live our lives the way we want... on our own terms, without judgement and without expecting perfection.

🔹 You feel judged by others

You may have well-meaning friends or family that feel that keto isn’t a healthy lifestyle.  You can give them 100 links to Dr. Berg videos but they will ever get it.  Some people are closed minded about things they are not interested in or don’t know much about. 

You don’t need to engage with them, a simple ‘thank you so much for your concern, I’m good.’  If you are feeling judged, it’s because you are allowing it (sorry, but that is the hard truth).  It’s 100% up to you whether you will accept their judgements.

🔹 You’re getting ‘I told you so’

You veer off keto... we ALL do.  This is our lifestyle, not our diet.  We aren’t going to be keto 24 hours a day forever.  You may hear ‘I told you, keto isn’t sustainable’ or (if the judger is the committed type) ‘just set your mind to it and DO it.’  Ugh, either one is no help, especially when you may already be feeling a little down about it all.

If you want to engage with them (walking away or ignoring them is also an option), you could say something like “keto is my 80/20 lifestyle.  80% of the time I’m keto and absolutely love it, but there are times when I choose to go off of it.  Keto is very forgiving and after my little keto vacay I’ll be so happy to go back ‘home’”

🔹 How do you talk to yourself?

The other two scenarios don’t matter nearly as much as this one.  This is the biggie folks.  We tend to think we’re ‘awesome’ when we’re rocking our keto. We wear the badge with honor.  But when we veer off we think we’re ‘failures’ and words like ‘I’m SO mad at myself, I was X-# of pounds from my goal and now I have X-# of pounds to lose.’  I get it, honestly, I do.  It’s super easy to be hard on ourselves.

Try this instead... try talking to yourself as if you were having a conversation with your best friend or child.  Say they came to you and said ‘I’m so mad at myself!  I was so close and now look at me.’  Would you say to them ‘ya, you were 15 pounds away from goal, you really blew it!’  Or would you say ‘life isn’t going to be smooth sailing all the time and sometimes we veer off our path.  You did fantastic before and you will do it again!  I love you and know you got this!  What can I do to support you?’

Sounds corny, but the negative silent thoughts we have floating around in our heads are just as hurtful as if someone said them out loud to us.  Like the people that judge us, it is 100% in our control the things we say to ourselves.  We need to change the dialogue in our heads and give ourselves some understanding and love.

💗 We truly can’t please everyone, and we don’t need to.  We cannot allow anyone to judge us, and most importantly, we shouldn’t judge ourselves 💗

👉 Do you feel judged by others?  Do you judge yourself? 👇

 

💗 Leta

~ Intentionally Bare